W300310

「あなたなら聞こえるでしょう。おばさん」婦人はもの思いにふけるかのようにおし黙っていたけれど、ついに彼女は壁に向かって大きなあくびをしてしまう。その口を瞬く間に彼女自身の手が蓋をする。壁には月光をあびた窓の形がくっきりと浮きでている。葉を落とした木々の裸の枝組みがかすかに揺れながら、その上に影を落とす。遠くで電話が鳴り、壁一枚隔てた隣室から誰かの声が聞こえた。同時に同じ場所のふたつの相反する悩みに心が奪われているだろう。自分の顔が見えたなら、すべては理解できるはずなのに。「自分の名前まで忘れちゃった。でも、この部屋に誰が住んでるのかは知ってるわ」 「きみにはわからないわね。こどもだもの」こどもはもじもじしながら、しばらく顔をうごかしていたけれども、ふいに視界からこどもの姿が消えて、ちらりとお尻が水面をよこぎり、もう次の瞬間、水中には白っぽい影があって底に向かって沈んでいった。澄んだ水面に、ひとつぶ雨が落ちたように、幾重にも同心円がひろがっていく。今気づいたのだが、奇妙なことは何ひとつなかった。たぶん真夜中でも眼は見えるのだろう。昼と夜は分かちがたく繋がっていたのだし、涙でガラスが曇ってしまっても眼鏡に瞼はないのだから。「涙でぜんぜん見えないや。だから手を伸ばし、なるべく近くの物を掴んでみるよ」

“I imagine you can hear it. Lady.” The woman was stone quiet as if about to lose herself in her thoughts, but at last she faces the wall, letting out a big yawn. During this blink of the mouth, her own hand serves as the lid. On the wall is the clear outline of the window bathed in moonlight. Swaying gently, the bare groupings of branches from leafless trees drop their shadows above it. A telephone rings in the distance, and a voice can be heard in the room on the other side of the wall. My heart must be torn between two conflicting concerns at the same time and place. If only I could see my own face, I should be able to understand everything. “I even forgot my own name. But I do know who lives in this room.” “You wouldn’t understand. You’re only a child.” The child, fidgeting, wriggled his face for a while, but then suddenly disappeared from sight; his bottom flashed across the water surface for a moment, and then the next instant, there was a whitish shadow in the water and he sank towards the bottom. In the clear water surface, like a drop of rain had fallen, layers of concentric circles spread out. I just realized this now, but there was not a single strange thing about it. Even in the middle of the night you can probably see. Day and night were indistinguishably connected, because even as my tears clouded the glass, my glasses had no eyelids. “Can’t see a thing through my tears. So I’ll just reach my hand out and try to grasp the things that are close by.”

岡﨑 乾二郎

OKAZAKI Kenjiro